


There For You

by musicgirl1120



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Mental Breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:55:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25812436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicgirl1120/pseuds/musicgirl1120
Summary: The aftermath of Station 19 3x09/10 and Grey's Anatomy 16x18.  With Rigo's death and Andrew's breakdown, both Maya and Carina have a lot to deal with.
Relationships: Maya Bishop & Carina DeLuca, Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Comments: 6
Kudos: 92





	1. Chapter 1

She felt crushed. Her baby brother had had a full blown mental breakdown in the lobby. She had helped Bailey escort him to her office before she went back to her office. She had already texted one of her colleagues to cover for her for the rest of her shift. She planned on going back to her office and getting herself together before going home. 

However, when she walked into her office, she was shocked to see Maya sitting on her couch. 

“Hey,” the blonde fire captain said, “I know we didn’t have plans, but I had a shitty day and I figured maybe you had some free time to have dinner together tonight.” 

Carina’s eyes welled up with tears as Maya got up and approached her. 

“Hey,” Maya said, taking Carina’s hand and leading her to the couch, “Hey. What’s wrong? What happened?” 

Carina just sobbed, a heart wrenching sob that shook her entire body. Maya just held her, positioning them so Carina was laying on her chest. 

About a half an hour later, Carina’s breathing had evened out and she was sound asleep on Maya’s chest. Maya had about a million things running through her head, but she decided that for now, she would just let Carina sleep, the brunette clearly needing it. Not long after Carina fell asleep, there was a soft knock on the door and it opened. 

“Car… Oh, hi,” a short haired pregnant doctor said, coming in, “I didn’t realize she had company. I just wanted to make sure she was alright after everything that happened today. I’m Dr. Amelia Shepard.” 

“Captain Maya Bishop,” Maya said, smiling at the doctor, “What did happen? She came in and just started crying.” 

“Her brother had a really bad and really public breakdown today,” Amelia said, sighing, “Dr. Bailey has him in her office right now, but they are talking about admitting him. My sister’s in there with them right now. Carina’s probably going to need to go talk to them soon, but let her rest for now.” 

“I had no idea,” Maya said, looking down at her girlfriend. 

“So how do you know Carina?” Amelia asked, sitting down in one of the OB’s chairs, hands wresting on her belly. 

“Um…” Maya said, not totally sure what to say. She and Carina hadn’t really put a label on their relationship, “Well, we met at Joe’s after I brought a nose in from the bear attack a few weeks ago.” 

“Oh,” Amelia said, eyes lighting up, “You’re the Olympian firefighter girlfriend that Carina can’t shut up about.” 

“I guess,” Maya said, blushing as she smiled, feeling a surge of happiness realizing that Carina talked about her at work, “Yeah.” 

“You are a lucky woman,” Amelia said, nodding, “If I wasn’t pregnant and in a happy relationship, I would be so jealous of you. Hell, I actually still am a little jealous of you. You’ve made everyone in this hospital a little jealous that you managed to take this amazing woman off the market.” 

“I am lucky,” Maya said, nodding, “So lucky.” 

Just then, Carina stirred in her lap. 

“Maya,” the Italian said, opening her eyes, “What… Oh.” 

Tears filled Carina’s eyes again as she remembered what happened earlier before looking over at Amelia. 

“Amelia,” Carina said, wiping her eyes, “What are you doing here? Did you have an appointment I forgot about?” 

“I was just checking in,” Amelia said, “Mer told me what happened and I thought you might need a shoulder to cry on, but I see you found a very capable shoulder.” 

Carina nodded, smiling at Maya as she held her hand. Just then, there was a knock at the door and Dr. Schmitt walked in. 

“Sorry to interrupt,” he said, “But Dr. Bailey is asking to see you Dr. Deluca. In her office.” 

“I will be right there,” Carina said, getting up and grabbing a tissue, wiping her eyes. 

“Do you want me to come with you?” Maya asked, unsure of what to do to help her girlfriend in this situation. 

“I need to do this alone,” Carina said, taking a deep breath as she headed for the door, walking out without saying anything else. 

Maya looked a little lost and unsure of what to do. 

“She’s probably going to need you when this meeting is done,” Amelia said, seeing the confusion on Maya’s face. 

Maya nodded, sitting back down on the couch, pulling some paperwork out of her bag, “Do you think it’s ok if I stay here?” 

“I’m sure Carina would really appreciate it,” Amelia said, nodding, “I need to get back to work, but you’re welcome to stay here.” 

Maya nodded as Amelia left. Truthfully, Maya had had her worst day yet since becoming Captain. One of her own had died, and most of it was her fault. She felt beyond guilty and exhausted, especially after talking to the therapist. 

However, her girlfriend needed her right now. All she really wanted to do was to go home and drink and shove her feelings down, but that could wait. Maya worked on getting paperwork in order about the event that had ended in Rigo’s injury and reviewing all the information the therapist had left her. 

While she was working, she got a text from Andy, asking if she was alright. Maya texted her back, saying she was fine. She wasn’t about to tell her friend how she was really feeling, especially not when she knew the entire team blamed her for Rigo’s death. 

About an hour after Carina left, she came back in. 

“You’re still here?” she said, confused as she walked over to Maya, sitting down next to her. 

“Of course I’m still here,” Maya said, putting down her papers, “How did things go with your brother?” 

“He is going to be suspended from work for the next two weeks,” Carina said, looking down at her hands, “He also has to go to therapy if he wants to come back. I offered to have him come stay with me, but he refused. He is staying with a friend. I am just so worried about him.” 

“I know,” Maya said, nodding, “My brother has a lot of issues too. I worry about him every day.” 

“Where is he?” Carina asked, never having heard Maya mention her brother before.” 

“I don’t know,” Maya said, shrugging, “I saw him about a year and a half ago living on the streets. I haven’t been able to find him since.” 

“I’m so sorry Maya,” Carina said. 

“It’s fine,” Maya said, brushing it off, “Do you still have to work today, or do you want to go home?” 

“Can we go to your place?” Carina asked, looking at Maya, “I don’t want to go home tonight.” 

“Of course,” Maya said, nodding as she packed up her paperwork, letting out a deep sigh as she saw Rigo’s name on the top of her file. 

“You said you had a bad day when you came in earlier,” Carina said as she grabbed her own bag, “Is everything alright?” 

“Not really,” Maya said, shaking her head, “Remember the firefighter I told you got hurt the other day?” 

“Of course,” Carina said, nodding. 

“Well, he died yesterday afternoon,” Maya said, feeling tears fill her eyes, quickly brushing them away. 

“Oh, Maya, I’m so sorry,” Carina said, knowing her girlfriend was really struggling with the fact that one of her team had gotten hurt, “Why didn’t you say something?” 

“You have your own stuff going on,” Maya said, shrugging, “And it’ll be fine.” 

“Maya, you lost a coworker,” Carina said as they walked out of the hospital, “That is a big deal.” 

“I know,” Maya said, feeling the tears filling her eyes as they got in the car, “But it’s also part of the job.” 

“Hey,” Carina said, taking Maya’s hand, “It’s ok if you are not ok.” 

“Eyes forward,” Maya said quietly, trying to get the tears to stop. 

“What?” Carina said, “What did you say?” 

“Eyes forward,” Maya said a little louder, finally getting her tears to stop, “It’s something my dad always said. Nothing else matters exept what’s in front of you. You just have to embrace the pain and move on.” 

“Ok,” Carina said, “But Maya, this is not something you can just brush past.” 

“Can we just go home?” Maya snapped, “I’m tired. We all had to see a therapist today after our last shift which means that I have barely slept in the past 40 hours.” 

Carina relented, knowing that fighting a tired Maya was a losing battle from the beginning, and she didn't have the mental energy to fight with her today. 

“Is there anything I can do to help you with your brother?” Maya asked, knowing she had snapped at Carina when that was the last thing her girlfriend needed.  
“I don’t know,” Carina said honestly, “I just wish he would check himself in somewhere to get treatment. Or at least get a diagnosis. But that is his choice. He is an adult.”  
Maya nodded as Carina pulled into her apartment complex. They got out of the car, heading upstairs. 

“Wanna take a shower?” Maya asked, smiling at Carina. 

“I guess,” Carina said as Maya pulled them into the bathroom. 

After a steamy shower, they both changed into pajamas, crawling into bed. 

“I have tomorrow off,” Maya said, yawning, “Do you have to work?” 

“No,” Carina said, shaking her head. 

“Good,” Maya said, smiling at her beautiful girlfriend, “We can just spend the day in bed.” 

Carina nodded as Maya wrapped her arms around her, just leaning in to her girlfriend’s embrace.


	2. Chapter 2

They slept for a few hours before waking up, starving. Carina made a simple dinner which they ate in front of the fire Maya had built. The night got steamy, both of them ending up half dressed on the couch with their glasses of wine. 

“So, I was thinking, could you take some days off?” Maya asked, looking at Carina, “Could we try to go somewhere?” 

“But I thought you had to work?” Carina said, cocking her head to one side. 

“I have some personal days saved up,” Maya said, shrugging. 

“How many?” Carina asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Like 100 maybe,” Maya said shyly as she laughed “I don’t take days off, but I want to try.” 

“Yes,” Carina said, nodding. 

“Yes?” Maya said, eyes wide. 

“Yes,” Carina said, nodding. 

“Really?” Maya said, still not believing it. 

“Of course,” Carina said, nodding, “I would love to. Let’s go someplace warm, with a pool and some fruity drinks.” 

“That sounds so nice,” Maya said, nodding, “I’m off for the next three days so could we maybe go like in the morning? I can get a few more days off too.” 

“I am also off for the next two days,” Carina said, “And I could use a little more time off after everything with Andrea today. How about Palm Springs? I have been a few times. I know a great resort.” 

“Sounds perfect,” Maya said, nodding as she leaned over and kissed Carina. 

“But if we are going to, we need to pack,” Carina said, “And buy tickets.” 

Maya nodded, kissing Carina again before they got up. Maya grabbed her laptop, buying them two tickets for the next day while Carina got her phone, calling the resort and getting them a room. 

They both called in to work a few extra days, planning on spending 5 days on vacation. Maya also texted her team, telling them she was going to be on vacation for the next 5 days and that Herrera would take over as Captain for the shift she would miss. 

Carina went back to her place to pack before coming back with her bag about two hours later. 

“We’re really doing this?” Maya said as they crawled into bed. 

“We are,” Carina said, nodding as she kissed Maya. 

They ended up falling asleep after another round of mind-blowing sex. 

The next morning, Maya was up at 4:30 to get her run in before they headed to the airport around 7 am. 

Maya looked out the window, tears filling her eyes as she looked down at the clouds as she thought about the conversation she had with Dr. Lewis the day before. 

“What’s wrong Bella?” Carina asked, looking over and seeing the tears rolling down Maya’s cheeks. 

“Nothing,” Maya said, wiping her eyes, not ready to tell Carina anything about what she was really thinking about, “Nothing. Just exhausted and thinking about Rigo.” 

Carina took her hand, kissing it and keeping hold of it. Maya leaned her head on Carina’s shoulder, closing her eyes. The next thing she knew, they were landing in Palm Springs. 

“Did you have a good nap Bella?” Carina asked, kissing her cheek as she woke up, rubbing her eyes. 

“Sorry,” Maya said, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” 

“You have had a long few days,” Carina said, “Rest is good.” 

Maya nodded as they got up and got off the plane. They took an Uber to their resort before heading up to their room. Maya’s mind was spinning the entire time with all the things she needed to do for work. 

They got to their room and Carina went into the bathroom while Maya grabbed her phone, calling the station. 

When Travis picked up the phone and scolded her, she felt her anxiety level go up. However, when she turned around and saw Carina standing there in her bathing suit, some of the anxiety slowly started melting away. 

After they had amazing sex, Carina finally convinced Maya to put her bathing suit on and go downstairs to the pool. The rest of the day was pretty chill as they hung out by the pool. 

Todd and his idiot buddies provided them with good entertainment and a good laugh. 

Maya, however, found it incredibly hard to just relax by the side of the pool. The alcohol helped a little, but when Carina fell asleep in her longue chair, Maya slipped into the pool, swimming laps to give herself something to do. 

When she finished, she headed back to the chairs, finding Carina awake and staring at her. 

“What?” Maya said, grabbing a towel and drying off a little. 

“What?” Carina said, “Am I not allowed to stare at my incredibly sexy, athletic girlfriend.” 

Maya smiled, leaning down and kissing Carina deeply. 

“Let’s take this back upstairs,” Carina whispered in her ear. 

Maya nodded, biting her lip as they gathered their things. They went back upstairs, taking a long, steamy bath before moving their escapades to the bed. 

Just as Carina was about to do the thing with her tongue that drove Maya up the wall, the blonde’s phone started going off. Maya reached for her phone, ignoring Carina’s protests. 

As soon as she saw that there was a four moving to five alarm fire, her mind started racing. She got up and started pacing, feeling her chest tighten. She felt her mouth moving and knew she was processing everything out loud. 

She felt Carina walk up to her, guiding her to the bed. She could see Carina’s mouth moving, but she could only hear a roaring in her ears.

The first thing that broke through her intrusive thoughts was “No eyes forward.” 

That pulled Maya out of her head a little bit because those words were so familiar to her. She was a little surprised Carina remembered them from their conversation the day before. She started breathing a little easier and before she knew what was going on, she was sobbing in Carina’s arms. 

“It’s ok Bella,” Carina said, rubbing her back as she moved them to the bed, just holding Maya tightly. 

“I’m sorry,” Maya choked out, “I’m so sorry. We were…” 

“No,” Carina said, cutting her off, “No, no, no. You are not going to apologize. Just breath.” 

Maya nodded, burying her face into Carina’s robe. It took about twenty minutes, but eventually, Maya stopped crying and moved out of Carina’s arms. Carina got up, grabbing a glass of water and handing it to Maya. 

“Has that ever happened before?” Carina asked, brushing a piece of hair off of Maya’s splotchy face, “A panic attack I mean?” 

“No,” Maya said, shaking her head, “No. That was terrible. How did you know what to do?” 

“I have had them,” Carina said, looking at Maya, “I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was 15.” 

“Really?” Maya said, surprised, “But you…” 

“I do not seem like I have an anxiety disorder?” Carina guessed and Maya nodded. 

“I take medication,” Carina said, “And I have been in therapy on and off since before I was diagnosed.” 

“Really?” Maya said, still in a little bit of disbelief. 

“Yes,” Carina said, nodding, “Getting help was one of the most important things I ever did.” 

Maya nodded, looking down at her hands. 

“What is going through that brilliant mind of yours?” Carina asked, kissing Maya’s temple. 

“I’m fine,” Maya said, pushing away, “I need to go for a run.” 

“Hey,” Carina said, grabbing her arm as she tried to get up, “Maya. You cannot run away from your problems.” 

“I need to clear my head and calm down,” Maya said, sitting down, “And running is the only way I know how to do that.“ 

“I know,” Carina said, nodding, “If you really want to go for a run, you are welcome to go. I will be here when you get back. However, I would like it if you stayed.” 

Maya nodded, taking a deep breath. She moved back into the bed, sitting next to Carina. She tried, she really did, for the next hour to calm down and just relax with Carina as the brunette put on music and just held her. However, even Carina could feel the anxiety rolling off of Maya in waves. 

“Alright Bella,” Carina said, “Lay down.” 

“What?” Maya said, Carina pulling her out of her head. 

“Lay on your stomach,” Carina said, “You need to relax. Do you trust me?” 

Maya bit her lip, nodding before laying down. Carina got off the bed for a minute before coming back holding something. 

“This is lavender and lemon infused coconut oil,” Carina said, opening the bottle, “I am going to rub it on your back, alright?” 

Maya nodded as Carina pulled her robe down off her shoulders. Carina slowly and gently began rubbing Maya’s back with the oil, massaging it into her skin. 

“That feels good,” Maya moaned as Carina massaged Maya’s back which was basically just one giant knot. 

Carina had planned on making this massage foreplay for another round of mind-blowing vacation sex, but when she went to kiss Maya’s neck, she saw that her girlfriend was asleep. She sighed, both disappointed that she wasn’t going to get sex right now and sad for whatever was triggering Maya right now. She knew losing someone on her team had been hard on the captain. She also knew that, for some reason, Maya struggled to take time for herself and let herself feel everything that came with the devastating loss. 

She pulled Maya’s robe back over her bare back, grabbing her book and going out of their balcony. She didn’t want to be far from Maya, but she also wanted to enjoy the warm sun that was so rare up in Seattle. 

About half an hour later, she heard movement in the room and set down her book, going back inside. 

“Hey,” Carina said, seeing Maya sitting up on the bed, looking a little dazed. 

“I’m sorry I fell asleep,” Maya said, rubbing her eyes, “I didn’t mean to.” 

“It is alright Bella,” Carina said, sitting down next to her, “This is vacation. You should be sleeping as much as you can. Are you feeling better?” 

“A little,” Maya said, nodding, “Thank you for that.” 

“Of course,” Carina said, kissing Maya’s cheek, “I always want to help if I can.” 

Maya leaned over, kissing Carina passionately. Carina kissed her back, happy they were finally getting back to what they were doing before. 

They ordered room service, neither of them feeling much like getting dressed or going out. 

Later that night, Maya got another update about the fire, learning that it was out, but Hughes and Montgomery had both been pulled out due to heat exhaustion and smoke inhalation earlier in the evening. 

This sent Maya into another panic attack. Carina had a harder time pulling her out of this on, having to wrap her arms around Maya and hold her tightly, getting her to focus on her breath against her back. When it stopped, Maya was exhausted and so was Carina. Maya just curled up on Carina’s chest, closing her eyes. 

“Sorry for ruining our evening,” Maya said, looking up at Carina. 

“No,” Carina said, shaking her head, “No apologizing. Do you apologize when you have a fever?”

“Yeah,” Maya said, nodding, a little confused. 

“Ok, that is a conversation for another day,” Carina said with a sigh, “You do not apologize for things that you do not do wrong. Having panic attacks is a result of something that is going on that you have no control over.” 

“But I should be able to get over it,” Maya argued back. 

“Maya,” Carina said, moving so they could see each other, “If I had a panic attack, would you be mad at me and expect an apology?” 

“What?” Maya said, “No. You can’t help it.” 

“Exactly,” Carina said, nodding, “And neither can you. It just happens sometimes. And with everything that has happened in the past few days, I cannot blame you. Your stress levels have been through the sky.” 

“Through the roof,” Maya said, laughing a little. 

Carina smiled too, leaning down and kissing Maya gently. 

“Are you ready to try to sleep?” Carina asked, looking at Maya and seeing how exhausted she looked. 

“Can I call my team?” Maya asked, “Or at least Andy? I need to find out how everyone is.” 

“Of course,” Carina said, knowing that if Maya was going to get any sleep tonight, she was going to need reassurance her team was safe. 

Maya grabbed her phone, calling her friend. 

“Maya?” Andy said, picking up and sounding confused, “Aren’t you on vacation?” 

“Yeah,” Maya said, “I was just calling to see how everyone was.” 

“Vic and Trav are doing better,” Andy said, “They were released from the paramedics by the time we were ready to go back to the station. And everyone else is fine.” 

“Good,” Maya said, letting out a sigh of relief as Carina gently rubbed her shoulders, “Good. I’m glad everyone is alright.” 

“Yeah,” Andy said, “We are all good. How is your trip?” 

“It’s good,” Maya said, “It’s good to have a break and to spend some time with Carina.” 

“Good,” Andy said, not really knowing what else to say. 

She and Maya had only just started to fix their friendship and were nowhere near where they had been before Maya became Captain. 

“I’ll let you go,” Maya said, “I’m sure you’ve got stuff to do.” 

“Yeah,” Andy said, “Enjoy the rest of your trip.” 

“Thanks,” Maya said, hanging up. 

“Do you feel better now that you called?” Carina asked, still rubbing Maya’s shoulders as the blonde let out a small moan. 

“Yeah,” Maya said, nodding as she put her phone down, “Everyone is safe.” 

“Good,” Carina said, kissing her behind her left ear, “Now, are you ready to sleep?” 

“I was thinking maybe we could do something besides sleep,” Maya whispered in Carina’s ear, nipping at it a little. 

Carina smiled as she felt Maya moving her kisses lower on her body. Sleep could wait, she decided as Maya pulled her robe off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end of this story. I love writing for Marina. They are just so easy to write for because all I wanted from the show was more screen time for them. I can't wait to see what season 4 has in store for them whenever we get season 4. Let me know if there's anything you want to see me try to write for them!

**Author's Note:**

> I have a second chapter planned for this story that's more about the trip Maya and Carina take in 3x11 if your interested.


End file.
